Blog on Cycling 2

I originally posted this in July of 2006. Since then, my mileage has increased to about 100 miles a week. However, I feel just as “treme” as I did back then and thought it would be funny to re-post this here … enjoy!

This is the second blog dealing with the sport of extreme (or simply treme) bicycling. In this blog, I’d like to cover a few areas of proper etiquette when riding on semi-crowded trails or when riding with a partner.

It occurs to me that I am probably the most treme (which, by the way, is the term describing a mediocre version of extreme) bicycler I know. Let me clarify that.

• While extreme bikers put in 70 to 100 miles a week on their bike, us treme bikers put in about 40 to 50.
• While extreme bikers have a whole assortment of serious injuries related to biking, we tremers have only to worry about hitting your hand on a metal sign post during a ride (which happened to me last week, by the way).
• While extreme bikers talk about forks and the best brand of gears to use, treme bikers talk about the best deal they can get for a brand they recognize (such as Trek, Giant, or even Huffy) and call it good.
• While extreme bikers actually get sponsored by companies to wear their logos on their riding clothes, we tremers buy riding gear with said logos to look as though we are sponsored.

Most bikers on trails around town are more in the treme category than the extreme category, which is good because its easy to relate to treme riders theyre all very similar.

Here are a few rules in dealing with fellow treme riders:

1. Every treme rider dreams of being an extreme rider. It’s true: we tremers actually wish that we were Lance Armstrong. We daydream about riding hundreds of miles to glory, fame, and Sheryl Crow. We also have a tendency to talk up our riding mileage a bit when talking to other tremers. Typical conversation:

   “I ride about 40 miles a week.” “Well I ride about 45 miles a week.” “You should have seen me last summer! I was putting in 50 miles a week!” etc.

2. When passing another rider on a trial, you are obligated to respond; and that response should be proportional to the treme level of the other biker. When you pass another biker, you must quickly size them up. If they look more like Lance Armstrong than you, you are obligated to at least raise a finger to signify your submission to their obviously greater level of closer-to-extremeness than yours. However, if they look more like the fat kid getting his first Huffy at Sams, you are only obligated to look in their direction.
3. You must be faster than all bikers less treme than you. Put simply, this means that if an older biker, significantly younger biker, a biker with an inferior bike, or any combination thereof passes you on a trail, you suck. You must be constantly aware of your environment and keep that from happening. If it does happen, you can cover for it by reaching down to your water bottle and pretend you were taking it easy for the moment they passed you. However, this only works if you then pass said biker and continue to stay ahead of him / her for the duration of your time together on the same trail.
4. When riding in any size group, make sure you let everyone know youre taking it easy for the day. This works very well if you place an extreme sounding story in front of your statement. For example, “Man, yesterdays [exaggerated mileage] ride really worked me. I think Im going to take it easy today.” This actually does two things for you:
   1. If you have trouble keeping up with your riding buddies, you have effectively covered your butt. Everyone expected it anyway.
   2. If you end up having a good day and leading the pack, you have demonstrated that your level of extremeness is much higher than theirs because, even taking it easy, you’ve outperformed them.

That’s it for this blog. Hopefully, your social biking skills have benefitted in some way from the aforementioned ramblings!

Biking

As the weather is heating up and Amber and I just purchased new bikes, I decided to re-post some of my blogs regarding the “sport” of recreational cycling. I originally posted this in May of 2006 when I was riding my bike to work and back on a pretty regular basis. Enjoy!

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Now that it’s getting warmer, I’ve been spending a lot more time on my bike. There are a few reasons for this:

1. It’s a lot of fun.
2. It’s good exercise.
3. (And probably the most important) Amber and I now only have one car to help cut down on pollution and to save money, so I’ve been riding my bike while she has the car to get to work and back.

First off, when I say “bike” I don’t mean the Harley or even the moped … I mean the Trek bicycle. That’s right … I’m nowhere near cool enough to own or ride a motorcycle. I’m sure I lost a few of you right there in the shock of all that, but it’s true.

I think most people who (like me) are far too slow to reasonably ride in traffic (I have trouble traveling over 20 mph, and going up hills I’m lucky to keep a steady 10) would say that they hate riding anywhere near cars.

Seriously … all you crazy drivers out there take head: be nice to the friendly loser riding his or her bike on the sidewalk because they can’t keep up with traffic.

In fact, I try my hardest to find “alternate” routes to get places that don’t require me to be anywhere near traffic at all. Paths, “greenbelts”, and parks are great for this, but the hard part is that there are very few connections between the different areas. Thus, the biker is forced to enter the path of traffic at one point or another during their journeys.

Here are some rules I follow while riding in or around traffic:

1. Pretend the cars don’t exist. That’s right … turn up the ‘ol iPod and cruise like there aren’t any cars, stop-lights, or tomorrows. This may not be terribly safe but it gives those stuck-up jerks driving cars the finger without really giving them the finger (which is better, I think). It’s basically saying, “Yeah, I’m far too important and happy riding my bike to notice you and your big car. Two tons … yawn … big deal.”
2. Don’t take crap from the cars. If you come to an intersection where you have the right-of-way and a car is going anyway, just go. Sometimes you have to take one for the biking team to keep our way of transportation respectable. If you bow out of every challenge (even against a large SUV), you are doing a disservice to yourself and the entire biking community. We’ll all send you get-well-soon cards while you’re in the hospital getting ready for your next ride.
3. Pretend the traffic rules don’t apply to you because they don’t (at least they shouldn’t … you’re on a bike not in a car, right?) Run stop signs, red-lights (including the little stop hand thing), and cross in the middle of the road away from cross-walks when it’s convenient and/or necessary (based on your personal judgment; take your pick). When you’re on your bike, you have the advantage of owning both the sidewalk and the road (kind of like a new driver, but perpetually) so use that to your benefit. That will show those SUV driving gas-hoarders that their “fast” and “convenient” travel is vastly below our form of transportation!
4. Finally, anticipate your stops. If you are going to pull up to a curb and actually wait for the light to change in your favor, be sure to shift into a lower gear so that you don’t look like a pathetically weak fool starting out when the light does change and you can go. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked like a total loser and weakling because I forgot to shift down to an easier gear before I came to a stop. I think most of you know what I’m talking about … you sort of wobble a bit while your legs are struggling to get some momentum going. Granted, eventually you get going and you’re fine, but those five to ten seconds of monumental struggle make us all look bad. And, if you try to correct yourself by shifting as soon as you start peddling, it’s even worse (I’m sure you all know why, so I’m going to leave it at that).

That’s all for now! Hopefully these tips increase your skill and knowledge of our beloved hobby (or requirement, as the case may be).